Are you an interesting woman? Are you an interesting mother? Do you stay interested in things and people outside your sphere? What’s your thing, or your things?
Last week I drove an hour away to meet my friend who drove an hour from her house, to eat at a Korean place she hadn’t eaten at in 3 years, just so she could reminisce on the taste of the food. My dish was overcooked and not sliced as per expectations (from my professional Korean experiences), and she loved her “lived up to my memory” spicy pork dish. So now we have to find a new place that suits both of us, preferably less than hour away. But the adventure of “finding the next Korean joint to satisfy my friend’s love of Korean food” is a thing on top of our thing and well worth the trek. And by our, I mean all. As in, all my friends treat eating and trying new foods, like an Olympic sport. Because food is one of my things, and finding a new Korean spot is a thing on top of our food thing. I will drive hours away to try food just because it’s fun and interesting to me and to my food sporting friends.
A few years ago I was talking to my dad about older men seeming to want to be with women who are younger and “hotter”, and that keeping up with that seems impossible and frustrating. This was bothering me because my younger brother was talking about how his girlfriend HAS to be hot. Hot to him, but still “hot”. My dad’s response to me was, “don’t worry about that! Just stay interesting. Men like, and are friends with women who are interesting.” That stuck with me. I thought, “Do I find myself interesting?” The men part I’ve let go of because…meh…are YOU interesting SIR? But mostly, what I like about me is more interesting to me than what they like about me.
So, are you interesting to yourself? I won’t go on about how motherhood is an energy sucking alien that drains you of every part of yourself until you’re a shaking shriveled stalk of wheat with dark under eye circles “trying” to keep it together. I didn’t go on at all there!
Anyhoo, I’ll just say that upon this realization, you have to make huge efforts to reclaim and remake yourself, if only for bare sanity. You have to find your thing or things that make you feel good, laugh, and keep you lively and interested.
I should say, the thing doesn’t have to be a Socrates kinda thing to be interesting. Just a “your” kinda thing. Movies, books, articles, clothes, swimming, décor, coffee, tea, writing, shopping, comedy, skiing, hiking, painting, politics, shoes, socks, working out, whatever…just some things, or a thing, that keep you interested in yourself. Then you can discuss it with your friends and even if it’s not their thing they can listen, and maybe even share it with you. If not you can find people who share your interests. And now you’re on interesting street!
So in short, don’t be boring. Eat and make every attempt to be the most interesting, delightful mom possible.